Whaacked by Lalaji

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When I was maybe eight or nine, my dad told me this story set in the early 1900s about his grandfather. They used to call him Lalaji.

One day, this man came by Lalaji’s shop and asked for a few minutes of his time. Lalaji had a stern personality but not one to turn away a request for help. He asked the man to come in and have a seat. In the span of the next 30 minutes, the conversation went into details of where this man had come from, the hardships he had faced and how he had become determined to prevent others from undergoing similar situations.

As heart wrenching as his story was, Lalaji needed to get on with the business of his day.

Lalaji: It is great that you have taken on this mission in life. How does it concern me?

The guy then opened up.

Having gone through all these troubled times, I have been gifted with the ability to catch glimpses of future mishaps that others are going to experience. I would be glad to help you avoid yours too, Lalaji.

I will not charge a single paisa, until you are convinced of my abilities. To prove my gift, I will tell you things about your life that only you should know. Even after you are convinced, I only ask for a nominal fee for my travels across the country.

(This conversation probably occurred in Multani. Lalaji lived in Lahore.)

Lalaji was of formidable stature. But I have heard that that his poker face was legendary and might have given Chris “Jesus” Ferguson a run for his chip stack. He calmly nodded and kept listening to this amazing offer. His interest had been piqued and he walked over to the man.

Not knowing what had just hit him, the man was down on the floor in a daze, Lalaji’s powerful figure towering over him. Lalaji then pointed towards the door,

No? You didn’t see this coming? If you couldn’t see barely seconds into your own future, how are you going to help me save mine?

True or not, this story left a mark. I grew up knowing that I had a cool great-grandfather.

Newsweek on Psychics – America’s Bejan Daruwalas

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I am traveling again this week and skimming through a complimentary hotel copy of Newsweek. It is making me tear my hair out. Niket and Amit, there are Bejan Daruwala’s in the US too – and they are making a killing!

The June 30 issue of Newsweek has a two page article, The $10,000-a-Month Psychic.

“She was amazing,” Lawson tells NEWSWEEK, recalling Day’s quick insights into the poor coordination between the company’s research and marketing teams. “Anybody who can afford her will get 100 times their money’s worth.” What exactly is Day’s expertise? While she likes to downplay it as mere “intuition,” her clients prefer another explanation: she’s a psychic. (emphasis mine)

Let’s see, that would be a return on investment of 9900%! WTF am I doing drudging over reams of data while trying to cope with air travel and global conference calls all at the same time?

This chick is also making more in two months than I make in a year!

For a flat rate of $10,000 a month, Day’s insight is available for rent. She has about five monthly clients at a time, offering them unlimited 24-hour access.

This article is bad. Joshua at Thoughts from Kansas has some not-so-nice words for the author, Tony Dokoupil.

By putting his name to it, he told the world, I, Tony Dokoupil, am unfit to commit acts of journalism.

Hotel room reading has never gone down well with me.

Americans pray at the pump for cheaper petrol

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Let us all pray for cheaper gas.

“Lord, come down in a mighty way and strengthen us so that we can bring down these high gas prices,” Twyman said to a chorus of “amens”.

“Prayer is the answer to every problem in life. We call on God to intervene in the lives of the selfish, greedy people who are keeping these prices high,” Twyman said on the forecourt of the petrol station in a neighbourhood of Washington that, like many of its residents, has seen better days.